Update on the Kelly Household

Well it seems these days that I still don't have enough hours in the day to keep up with everything. That statement kind of makes me chuckle because to be honest I have no idea how I kept up with all of this while I was working!

Things here are ok. The 19th will mark three months since I have worked and to be honest I have enjoyed being at home. I am really trying hard to not stress about the ramifications of my not having a job though they are becoming more apparent each and every day as we are now officially living paycheck to paycheck again. The job market for lack of a better a word sucks right now. Each day I hit the various work web sites and place my resume and fill out applications. So far I have only had about 4 interviews and so far none have turned out to be anything. The one very promising job interview I had we have decided that I will not take if it is offered to me. The pay is not near enough and it is only a part time position and hence it will not benefit us at all. So the search continues. I have one job interview set up for Tuesday of this week and one job that I applied to and went in and did testing for an am hoping to get a call about an interview for that this week. God knows our needs and already has the answer so I am trying ever so hard to hang on to that and wait, patiently, at the feet of Jesus.

I miss MY job though and find myself yearning for it. It is something that I simply cannot get out of my system. My mind and heart know what I "would be" doing if I still had that job and there are days when I simply let a few tears flow about the fact that it will never be again. Honestly I didn't expect it to be this hard to "get over it" but it is. I miss every aspect of being there each day and I miss my "family" there very much.

This week I will complete a Beth Moore study on the Psalms of Ascent that our ladies have been doing at church. I love Beth Moore and this study has been totally awesome. This is probably the first study I have done in years that I can say I have been able to dedicate to 100% and it has been a true blessing. The group of ladies that I was placed with for our small group seemed a bit strange to me at first but it has turned out to be such a blessing. I will be sad to see it end this week. When I do complete it though I have decided to dive in head first into the Beth Moore book called "Get Out of that Pit". I have had this book for a while now but haven't really sat down and gotten into it. Beth has spoken of it several times through the videos in this current study and I feel certain that God wants me to dangle my feet in that book for a while.

Good news: Nick was able to work a few days last week with a man from our church and he really enjoyed it. He is praying that there might be some more work for him through that man. We think he has decided to go to school to be an EMT. For a long time he talked about Fire College but seems to have decided on EMT. This week we will begin the process of getting all the details and starting to apply for needs in the financial area. I think he has finally decided it is time to "grow up". That leaves me happy and a bit sad as they are all growing so quickly.

Mandy is preparing to make her third trip to China this summer and is excited about that. Our Pastor and his wife and children will be leaving in July for China as they are moving there to teach English. God is amazing in what he is doing in them and I don't think it will be long before my own sweet daughter makes that journey herself. Pray for her in that area as I know that is her desire but there are some hurdles that must be gone over before that can happen. Again, I have mixed emotions about it, but I am ok because this is what I raised her for and if God wants her in China she must go.

Sammi is progressing through her junior year of High School. That means prom will be here before we know it, senior supplies will have to be ordered, senior pictures will be taken and then the fun begins of the senior year in general.

Goodness where have the years gone?

Tim and I are doing good. I think he kind of likes having me home during the day. He finds me at home rested and not stressed in the evenings! (well most evenings anyway) We are blessed that he works in an industry that is not feeling too much of the economic strains though they have made cutbacks just like everyone else. Of course nothing is sacred these days and one never knows if the job will still be there tomorrow.

I think that is about it for this update. Keep us in your prayers!

Stepping Up.....

Last night the ladies from our church began Beth Moore’s study called Stepping Up. It is a study into the Psalms of Ascent (Psalms 120-134). We simply did the introduction last night and wow is what I was left with.


Most of you know that I am recently unemployed and that has been a huge change for my life for many reasons. I have had no luck as of yet finding a job and I keep saying that I am simply waiting on God to show me what is next. Last night I began to think there is something more to this unemployment stage of my life.


So many times over the last many years I have embarked on studies, trying desperately to juggle work, home, kids, chores, church and bible study. Many times finding that my time in the Word takes a backseat to everything else that is going on around me. That’s not the way it is supposed to be at all. I have known that and realized it along the way but couldn’t really find a good balance to do the said study at that time with my whole heart like I should. It has probably caused me to miss out on many things and leaves me looking forward to going through some of those books and studies again to see what I missed out on.


In this study Beth has asked us that for the next 30 days we get on our faces, literally, before God each day. Not just in prayer, but getting right down our faces. This is not something I normally do but it is something I am going to do each day.


In the video presentation last night Beth Moore said this: “Whatever we are going through, we aren’t staying there”! Amen to that. Now while this may make perfect sense to some of you it wasn’t something I had thought of with all that is going on around me. There are so many “things” that are going on right now, so many changes and in reality it can be kind of scary. We tend to get “comfortable” with where we are but on the inside we feel “stuck” and even a little down if we are honest. I don’t want to be stuck or down and that is point of this study to get up.


Something else she said that I found very ironic in our current situation, not just our own within our family but in our country as a whole was this: “In God’s economy the way UP is DOWN”. No matter what our circumstances are either within our homes or for our country as a whole perhaps we do need to get down before we can get up. Not down as in the value of the dollar but down on our faces before God.


Beth painted a beautiful pictures of the stairs leading from the Court of Women in The Temple up to Nicanor Gate of us standing at the bottom of the stairs and God standing there with His hands open waiting for up to STEP UP!


So this morning I got up determined that I was going to do this right. I did get on my face before God this morning and in the quiet of my home I spent some great time in the Word and going through day one of this amazing study. As I worked through today’s lesson it was amazing. One line from today’s lesson states: “Sometimes we don’t know why we’re on a certain road with God until miles have made their way to the soles of our feet”. It’s true I do not know why God has me at this crossroad in my life and maybe, just maybe a few miles need to be put on the soles of my feet in order for me to see what is next. I can’t help but think that maybe I am supposed to be at home right now to give my full attention to this study. God has something for me. I know He does!


So I have begun my journey on the Psalms of Ascent and I am so excited to see where it is going to lead. One step at a time, one day at a time and holding on so tightly to God’s had as I walk. God doesn’t make mistakes but we do, however, one last thing that Beth Moore said in the video last night was something someone had told her: “Remember you’re not good enough to mess God up.” Praise God for that!

Inauguration 2009

What a day filled with pomp and circumstance we had as a nation today. No matter whom you voted for in the election you have to admit today was quite the day. Personally I think all the hoopla was a little much. I mean we are a country that is in financial turmoil and yet it was ok to spend the countless amount of dollars that were spent over the last several days. Please know that I fully understand that this is the way the new incoming president is ushered in and that many would have felt it was an insult to Obama had we not had all the ceremony today. I simply don’t see the justification and spending that kind of money when tomorrow they will be back at it trying to figure out a financial way to turn this countries finances around.


I found many of the commentaries and statements that I heard today and many of the things that I saw today very interesting.


On the TODAY show Matt Lauer was speaking with Collin Powell and Matt Lauer made the statement that “aren’t we putting a lot of faith in one man” to which Collin Powell said yes. I found this interesting because it is true. So many people are putting so much faith and trust in Barack Obama that it is scary; a lot of these people are Christians. We are not supposed to put our faith in any one except Jesus Christ and when we don’t good things do not happen. What I saw today were thousands of people standing for hours upon hours in the freezing cold to catch just a quick glimpse of our new President. What I saw today were people who were acting as worshipers to a man who puts his pants on the same way we all do. In many ways I think people are, without knowing it, setting the man up to fail. Why? Simple because if he is unable to accomplish the things that people seem to think he can accomplish he will, in their eyes perhaps become a failure or be called a liar.


So many times today we heard about “history” being made. Indeed today is day for the history books for several reasons. We did indeed watch the first man with an African American heritage be sworn in as commander and chief. There were more people present today for the Inauguration then ever before. One lady I saw interviewed was in Washington when Martin Luther King made his speech and she was there today as well and said today the dream came true and that she wished MLK had been here to see it. She is right today his dream did come true and we all witnessed it.


Tonight on the NBC Nightly news they showed the reactions from around the world today and they are all riding high on the hopes that Obama will fix things and make things “right”.


Sadly for as many people who are excited about this newness in our government and country there are just as many who are not excited and who are not happy with the fact that Barack Obama has been elected.


So where am I going with all of this? The truth of the matter is that God allowed this man to be elected as President of the United States of America. The truth is that we are called to pray for this man and for those who are in our government. The truth is that Barack Obama is not a god or a king and is no different from any other man in this world. He is not perfect; he is a husband, a son, a brother and father. He will make good choices and he will make bad choices. He will have good days and he will have bad days. He is like each one of us. The truth is we should esteem no man higher than God and we must remain steadfast in the fact that our God is in control and that the things that happen will only happen because our God allows them.


So as we go forward in the days ahead I pray that we will all remember who we are and who we serve. I hope that we will all take time to pray for our leaders and for our country. And I pray that we will all remember that what we do for the kingdom is of the most importance.


I have a calendar on my desk that has verses, thoughts and quotes on it and today’s is a reminder of what we must remember no matter what:


Forgive me, Father, for the times when I am anxious. You have promised to care of all my needs.

2009...Changes Ahead

Well here we are, 2009 and it’s been a month today since I left Abundant Funds. My last day there was December 19 and it was a very emotional day for me, as I knew it would be. That entire week was very hard. It isn’t easy closing out something that has been such a big part of who you are for the last ten years. Yes there were tears, at least a bucket of them as I prepared to leave that day. Opening the door to leave I turned one last time and then exited. I cried all the way home. It’s kind of strange to not have all of that on my mind everyday, not having to think about what has to be done tomorrow or what deadline needs to be met. Yes, I miss it but I am trusting God to show me what HE wants me to do.

So far looking for a job has not been a fun thing. I have posted my resume on several different sites and so far the real only things I have heard were sales jobs. Funny thing is I don’t do sales. I am not a salesperson, never have been and don’t plan to be. There isn’t a single thing in my resume that would lead anyone to think that I have done sales or would be interested; yet I get calls and emails for sales jobs weekly. Other than that the only one nibble that I have had has turned out to be nothing I am afraid. Companies do not want you to come in and fill out applications for the most part. You either need to email, fax or apply through the company website. All of those options are fine since it means I am not burning gas up to go around to all these places.

I supposed I would be depressed at the lack of responses if the job market wasn’t what it is today. There are so many people out there that are looking for work and more and more are losing jobs everyday. I read last week that over 20,000 people in the state of Florida alone applied for unemployment in one day, one day that is unthinkable. So the search goes on.

In all honesty though I am enjoying being at home to some extent. It is nice to be able to do “chores” through the week and not have to do them all on Saturday. Weekends were not very enjoyable for me since usually my Saturday was full of chores and grocery shopping and then Sunday was church, it always felt like my days off were filled with as much work as my workweek was. It is nice to be able to enjoy putting together a meal again instead of hurrying home each night to throw something together. The laundry is generally caught up now as well. So this whole “no job” thing really is not bad except for the loss of income and the fact that I am not around the people I have grown to love so much over the years.

But on to other things…….

So 2009 has already proved that it will be yet another year of change. A week ago Sunday we found out that Pastor Duane, Amy and the boys will be leaving us this year. They will be moving to China to teach English. That is a huge move for them and I am so happy that God has opened this door to them. China has been a huge part of our lives for almost three years now. This summer will make the third year that we have sent a team there to teach English. I am so excited for them and for the doors that this will open. Yet on the other hand it is a bit bittersweet for me as well because I know this will increase the love that my oldest daughter has for the people of China. So we shall see what the next months hold for all of us.

Of course our country is about to undergo a big change tomorrow with the Inauguration of Barack Obama as the president of the United States. I think the days ahead will be interesting as we see what direction God is going to take our country in. We should all remember that God is in control and we are called to pray for our leaders.

So that is my update for now. I am going to try and be better about blogging.

If you think about it please pray for our family as we continue to readjust to the cut in income. Pray for God to show me what HE would have me to do. Pray for our son Nick who is almost 19 and is looking for a job as well.

Thanks and I will talk to you soon.

Our Children

Tim and I have been blessed with three children. Amanda is 26, Nicholas is 18 (almost 19) and Samantha just turned 17. It is hard to believe that time has gone by as quickly as it has gone by. I wanted to share you with you pictures that they had done for us for Christmas this year.

Just A Thought

It seems like every person I know is going through something fairly major right now in their life. There are people, like myself looking for work, there is my best friend in the battle of her life with cancer, there are people I love beyond measure that are making choices that may not be good for them, there are teenagers and young adults struggling, there is a family we know who has to say goodbye to their daughter this week after she passed away on New Years Day. But with all of that I keep reminding myself that in uncertain time God remains certain. I am so thankful for the message we had a few weeks ago about resting in Him because I sure have needed that reminder a few times over lately.

I have this calendar on my desk and it has bible verses and some quotes on it and today's is from Max Lucado. Funny thing, I flipped it early this morning but didn't really read it until a few minutes ago and it just really was what I needed. Here it is because I wanted to share it because I know so many of us are going through tough times right now....

"Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest." - Max Lucado

I am praying for all of you and I love you all!

A Chapter Closing

This has truly been a horrible week for me. My life has suddenly taken a turn that I didn’t really some coming. I am going to try and put some of these gut-wrenching feelings down on paper.

A little over ten years it became fairly obvious that I needed to go back to work. My two youngest children were in school and so I began looking for a job. Finding a company willing to hire you after you’ve been a stay at home mom for over 10 years proved to be quite trying. A friend at church told me about a company, Abundant Funds Ministries, who hired temp workers to do data entry every fall and so I applied and was hired. That lasted through the holidays and then I was back looking for a job. I then was hired at a local grocery store and while it was an ok job it took me away from home far too much for having small children. I was finding that no matter what I asked for in the way of hours it just wasn’t happening. I was at home during the day while they were in school and I would be at work when they were home and they would be in bed by the time I got home. Soon fall was upon us again and I really wanted to go back to where I had worked the fall before. It became apparent that I was going to be able to go back to Abundant Funds and even though I knew it would again just be temporary I knew it was what I needed to do so I quit the store and went back to Abundant Funds Ministries…. I stayed.
Sadly, it is now about to end, a chapter in the book of my life closing and a new one opening…
Abundant Funds Ministries has been so much more to me than just a job. Over the years it has become a huge part of who I am, of where part of my identity lies. I consider myself one of those rare people who actually love my job and what I do. The people there, they are more than fellow co-workers or bosses they are truly family.

I have processed so much of my life from behind my desk and with all of those I have worked with. As I reflect back there is so much that has happened…

My oldest daughter was just starting high school when I started my job. I have seen her graduate from high school, taken her to college, and watched her grow into a beautiful young woman who loves God and has a passion for young people. I have watched her leave on a plane to travel on mission trips to the Ukraine and to twice now to China. I have been able to share all of these moments with those I work with. My two youngest children were in elementary school in the beginning. They have grown up under the eyes of AFM. My son just graduated from High School this past summer and now our baby is a junior. There have been times when these same children have slept on pallets on the floor because they were sick and unable to go to school but I still had to go to work. There have been homecoming dances, proms, and first loves and broken hearts.

I have seen children of those that I work with grow up, some have even married and now have children of their own. We have experienced birth and death together.

Pastor Frank died and my father in love died, we have battled cancer together, we have been through ups and downs. There have been miles of laughter and even tears along the way.
One of the memories that will never be lost is from September 11, 2001 when we all stood around a forklift with a small television and watched the towers fall. No one will ever forget where they were that and as scary and horrible as it was I am thankful people surrounded me that I love on that day.

Just like any family we have had some really hard times. We have argued, disagreed and gotten mad but we never stopped caring about each other or loving each other.

There have been many stressful days, weeks and moments. Just like any job it has not always been easy and quite frankly there were times when I wasn’t sure I would be there much longer and then God reassured me I was to stay. I am so thankful I did.

Personally I have grown a lot over the years. I have been blessed to have gained so much knowledge from the people I have worked with. They have all taught me something, there isn’t a single person who hasn’t touched my life in some way. I could write something about and to each person who works at AFM and I will to them personally.

So perhaps by now you are asking why this chapter is closing and I wish there was an easy answer but there isn’t. This is not something that any one of us wants. This is something that God is doing in each of our lives and while we don’t have the answers we must have faith and trust and remember that God is in control. No, I have not made the choice to leave AFM, we are all leaving, AFM as we know it will be no more in a very short amount of time.

People have asked me if I am mad, and I can honestly say that I am not in the slightest way mad. I am heartbroken, it feels like someone has kicked me in the stomach and that I cannot catch my breath. I do not want this happen, I really want someone to wake me up and tell me that this has all been a bad dream but I know that is not going to happen. I honestly do not know how to deal with this, I don’t want to go through this. There is no choice.

This week I have found myself in tears, suddenly and without warning. It just happens, the tears start. Every single time I have had to tell someone or have asked for prayer I get choked up. When I have talked to some of our consultants it has been so hard.

So what am I going to do? That seems to be a very tough question at the moment. The sad truth is that we don’t know when the “last” day will be yet. I find myself each day sitting at my desk trying to wrap things up and putting things in order and it hurts. Each time I talk to someone on the phone I have to wonder if that is the last conversation I will have with that person. So many of our schools have people in them that I have formed relationships with. Our consultants mean a lot to me and I will miss them all so much.I know that I have to find another job but my heart tells me to stay until the bitter end. It is what I feel like I have to do unless God opens another door without question. At the same time I say that I also liken this to watching someone close to you fade away, it is painful and you know that there is nothing you can do to stop it so you want to stay as close as you can for as long as you can until there is not another second left. Maybe that sounds crazy but it is how I feel.

My heart is breaking for the Roberts family especially. Yes this is going to be hard on all of us, but this has been their life for as long as they can remember, over 30 years. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and feelings and emotions that they are going through right now. Sitting in that conference room on Tuesday was so hard. Yes we all knew it was bad and we all sensed that something big was about to happen but never this, never seeing the story end. I don’t think I will ever forget the sound of Ben’s voice on that afternoon, I don’t know that I ever heard his voice in that tone before. I found myself unable to even look up at Ben, Jerry or Bill because I knew I would simply fall apart. I tried really hard not to and while I managed it for a short while inside I was dying, I think we all were. Ben prayed at the end and he said he felt like his family was being ripped apart and he was right, that is exactly what it feels like. The Roberts family all mean so much to me, they are truly my family as is all of AFM.

So how do I walk away? I don’t even know how to do this.

When the last day comes I will walk out the doors of the company that has meant so much to me. I cannot imagine walking through those doors on that day and driving away. A huge piece of me will be left behind and new chapter will begin. I can only hope that we will all be able to find time to get together one more time before it is over and I hope that we will all be able to get together from time to time just to catch up.

I am sure I could go on and on but I am still processing the whole thing, trying to catch my breath and I am sure I will be writing more as the days go on and the end approaches.

This hurts and there is simply no other way to explain it.

I am still praying for a miracle.

Thanksgiving 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Today is the day we set aside to give thanks for all we have in our lives. Giving thanks and being thankful is something we should be every day.

Personally I have so much to be thankful for. I have a husband who God has blessed me with and three incredible children. Both my parents are still alive and I have a mother-in-love who is amazing. I am blessed with a brother and a sister and many brothers and sisters by marriage. I have more nieces and nephews than I can count without sitting down and writing them all down. My church family is amazing and they never cease to amaze me. I am also blessed to have many children by “heart”, those who I have watched grow over the years and love as they are my own.

Today, in an ever-growing bad economy both Tim and I are blessed with jobs. My job is more to me than a job. I consider myself one of those rare people who truly love their jobs and the people that they work with. I can honestly say that they are more family to me than employers. Many times I have said that God plopped me down at my job because He knew how much I needed it. It has grown me in many ways and while it isn’t always easy and things are sometimes very hard, it is what I love and I believe I am right where God wants me.

I am thankful for the laughter that often fills my house. Yes, at times it can get a bit crazy around here, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Our children are only here with us for a short span of time and I want to enjoy every minute of it. There is nothing sweeter to a mothers ear than her children’s laughter. Yes, sometimes it is loud and sometimes it can be a bit much but it’s all good. I firmly believe they will look back on these days and smile and remember when their own children are their ages now how important it is to allow your home to be open to their children and their friends.

My church means so much to me. I am fully blessed beyond measure to have a place where I can go and worship and learn about God. It is there that I find the ones, who think like I do and who are there to encourage, uplift and love.

Above everything I am thankful for my salvation, a gift from God. I am so thankful that we have a loving God, who in spite of our failures and faults loves us unconditionally. I am thankful for a God whose grace goes beyond what any of us can imagine.

I suppose I could write for hours about all that I have to be thankful for but instead I would like to close with this….

There is so much bad with the world that we live in. We are all faced with having to make cutbacks that we didn’t dream of having to do a year or two ago. Many of our loved ones have lost their jobs and homes. So many people are struggling just to make ends meet. We could choose to complain about it all day long, and it wouldn’t do any good at all. What we must do however is remember that in a very uncertain world we have one very certain thing and that is God. His promises and His word hold true no matter how bad the economy or the world gets. I serve a certain God who already knows how all of this is going to work out and for that I am very thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Option or Priority?

Recently someone shared a very interesting quote with me. It went like this:

"Never make someone a priorty who only makes you an option"

This really set my mind in motion thinking on the meanings that this could hold. I have pondered it now for several days and this is what I have come up with.

• Are you making God a priority or an option in your life? If you are saved, you did, at one time, make God a priority, but is that still holding true? Is God someone who you set above everything and everyone else in your life or do you take Him out on Sunday and then put Him back on the shelf on Monday? God certainly made us a priority. He did give His only Son for us and I would say that is indeed making us a top priority. If God is not a priority in your life I would encourage you to make a few adjustments. Because unless your relationship with God is right, no other relationship will be right either. Which leads me to....
• All the young girls and single women who are out there. (and yes this even can apply to young men as well) I have seen far too many broken hearts and shattered dreams in my life. Too many times we set our priorities on people who are only making us an option. In relationships both people should make the other a priority. If only one person is setting the other as a priority you aren't getting a 50/50 relationship. We are all made beautiful in the eyes of God and His desire for you is to find that one person who He has for you. When you find that person, they will make you a priority. But don't forget not to make this person a priority over God and that person should do the same regarding you. If you are both making God a priority, the rest will all fall into place.
• As wives and husbands we must be sure that our spouses take a priority spot in our lives. Today, in a world where the children, our jobs, our churches and the day to day responsibilities of life can be so crazy we have to be sure that we make spending time with our spouses a priority. If we don't I think we will find ourselves like so many people, we wake up one morning and realize we don't even know the person we are married to any more. The same holds true for our children. I personally don't think our families should ever take a back seat to our busy lives.
• There is one other aspect of this that I have also been pondering... Is there ever a time when we do need to set someone as a priority that makes us an option. The answer I keep coming back to is yes. The answer seems pretty clear to me. There are people in this world, who are not believers who need to be ministered to. They most likely do not set us as priorities in their lives. The may only come around when they need or want something. That may be the only time that they are even half way sociable to us. But I have found over the years that unbelievers will come to believers in times of trouble because they already know how we think and how we feel. They know we will pray for them and be there for them. It is people like that they we must make a priority even though they only make us an option. Thank God He makes us a priority even when we don't make Him one, so it is what we should do.

I suppose I could go on and on about the priority vs. option theory. But all in all I believe that it all comes back to making sure God is our first and foremost priority and remember to thank Him daily for making us a priority in His eyes even though we do not always make Him a priority in our lives.

It's Been a While

It has been quite some time since I have blogged here. I had gone back over to Xanga but that site just frustrates me beyond my patience level these days. So here I am, back to what is much easier for me. Since it had been quite a while I deleted everything prior and decided to start fresh and new.

Blogging or journaling is something I have always loved doing. Sadly, life has gotten in the way of that recently and I have found it easier and easier to just not do it. But, God has recently began to show me that I really do need to slow down just a bit (more on that to come).

So for now, I am back...... and will be posting more on a regular basis.